Jeff Foxworthy on Canada

This was forwarded to me by a friend, and I laughed my face off... because it's all true!


If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,you may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada .

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend, you may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada .

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada . I've done this!

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada .

If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you may live in Canada

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada .

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada

If you actually understand these jokes you definitely live in Canada

The Weirdest Book I've Ever Seen

I was searching Amazon.ca for e-books, and this came up. I'm almost inspired to create a new category for it called 'complete weirdness'. Enjoy!

Book Description: Since Matthew Delooze's encounters with interdimensional beings during his childhood, and a spiritual awakening in 1998, he has been directed by mysterious forces. In 2005 he found himself being guided to visit Egypt, specifically the Temple of Hathor at Dendera. The astonishing photographs he took there suggest that we were ruled then by a race of reptilian aliens. Matthew believes that those reptilian aliens, that he calls the Serpent Cult, still rules us today, using their human puppets to deceive us into surrendering our spiritual self-possession. He draws parallels between ancient Egyptian gods, the Live 8 concerts, monuments in our towns and cities and the imagery in the Pope's regalia to show us how. He also suggests how you, the reader, can awaken from you trance and reclaim your true spiritual legacy.

Flying Motorcycle

I really want one of these!

How Many People Have My Name

Well, there are at least two of 'me' in Canada - my cousin, who is close to my age, was also named Nicole.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 63 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

The Perfect Car for a Woman

I'd like this as a Hummer...

Where Would YOU Shop?

If this was an option, I'm not sure I would choose IKEA, but I love this commercial!

The Only Good Use For Aspartame

They're back - the geeky yet cool Mentos 'n Diet Coke guys who freely admit they have too much time on their hands. They've inspired me to do a few 'experiments', and now they've published their second video. Enjoy!



Too see the original, go to Eepybird.com